At the start of the year, I announced I was taking a 3 month self-care sabbatical to give my neurodivergent body, mind, nervous system and soul a break, and focus on resetting after a grief-filled period of life. Today is the last day of my time off, and I’ve been reflecting on what I learned during this important act of self-care, growth and honouring my needs.

Here are 9 soulful self-care lessons I learned from my mid-life self-care sabbatical:

*Images of art, LEGO, nature, books, writing, representing my 3 month sabbatical learnings*

#1 When I took 3 months off for self-care and mid-life adjustment, I wasn’t shunned or ridiculed by others like I feared … I was actually encouraged

It was SUGH a massive step for me to take a good chink of time off to reset and nourish my needs. In the past, I’ve burned out or gotten sick when I’d been chronically overwhelmed, but with the onset of perimenopause, all my Autistic-ADHD symptoms flared up, and I knew I needed to take self-care action before my health forced me to.

I was so worried about what my family, friends, clients and colleagues would think of me. I feared I’d be seen as weak or over-indulgent.

But in actuality, it was quite the opposite.

Support flowed to me, in the form of texts, messages, phone calls, check-ins and so many kind and encouraging words. Many said they were inspired by my courage and prioritising my needs. It took me a good 3 weeks to settle into the sabbatical without nagging voices in my head bringing me down … but I hoped that would pass, as I rested and focussed on my needs. And it did.

#2 It takes time to access meaningful supports, and it’s so worth the time and energy commitment for my health

As I’d lived most of my life undiagnosed and overstretched, and I barely scraped by with bare minimum support (my GP & psychologist). Being neurodivergent can often come with several cormorbid health conditions, and as I hit 45, things really started to amp up. Chronic health symptoms began to compound and I could no longer reply on my trusted professionals, practices and tools to help - I needed more specialised supports.

It took time to find the right neuro-affirming people to assist with my health (and of course, the waiting lists!) In addition to my existing allied health professional supports, I also found a wonderful women’s specialist GP for hormonal support, an Occupational Therapist to help identify my capacity, Kinesiologist and Support Workers to assist with my health and living needs. NDIS assists with some of the costs, as it’s a lot. And, now that I have these sports in place, I look back on my previous self with compassion for all she carried by herself.

It takes a lot to navigate life with a neurodivergent brain and body, and supports and accommodations can be truly lifesaving for us.

#3 Getting off the capitalist hamster wheel helped me explore emerging needs and values, to help me realign my life with my actual capacity

As an Art Therapist, Educator and self-discovery advocate, I thought I was fairly on top of my needs … until perimenopause hit at the same time as a series of losses. Then, my capacity plummeted. Some days I could barely function to make breakfast, let alone reassess my needs and values, to help realign my life to accommodate.

When I got real with myself, I knew that as a highly ethical, honest person, I didn’t have the capacity to support others while I could barely cope myself. If I had’ve kept going, I would not have had the time I needed to get the supports I needed, rest so that my nervous system could start to regulate from all the chronic overwhelm, life and health storms, and I would have done more even harm to myself by continuing as I was.

That’s why I knew I needed to take time off, access specialist supports to help me cope with this transition. I made honouring my health needs my top priority for 3 whole months and this meant, having a more regulated system and supports in place, to truly understand my new capacity and pivot my life and work to suit. It’s been a long road and I’m still processing, taking small steps at a time, and I’m feeling quite good about my new path ahead.

#4 I remembered I’m an artist, and making art for me is a priority

A few years ago when I began taking on private art therapy clients, word-of-mouth grew and I quickly reached the admirable point where my work schedule was full of clients, with a waiting list. Being an Autistic ADHD’er means I give my special interests 110% and with the capacity to assist people in their own creative wellbeing … I felt on cloud nine!

However, a full client load meant I didn’t have much time left for myself or my own art …. after work, family, running my business, studying and growing support needs from my parents, and having a sensitive neurodivergent system with health conditions … almost all my free time was spent resting and recuperating.

That’s no way to live a life as an artist-soul, with my lifelong passion and need for artistic expression so far down the list!

So, during my sabbatical, I started making art for me again - art to inquire into my needs, art to support my nervous system, art to make beauty, art for art’s sake. I’ve ended up with quite a few new pieces, which I’ll add to my art shop and I”m going to have a Studio Open Day in the coming months too. Stay tuned!

#5 Daily creative practices helped me process big life changes, from grief and overwhelm into understanding and alchemy

When we’re busy with life - especially as business owners and parents - our own needs can pile up and we may only get a couple of hours a week to do something, just for us.

My sabbatical taught me that when I have even 20 minutes a day - to draw, journal, sip tea in the garden read, or research my latest hyperfous …. I often had better capacity for the rest of my day, or at least, more capacity for self-compassion on my more whelmy days.

Creating for me is not just an outlet, it’s the way my soul speaks best, so I can hear it, learn and take meaningful small steps in my life for the better. So now, at least 5 days a week, I carve a little time out for a creative practice. It’s flexible for me, I go with what I feel like doing. And I never once regret it.

Feels like pro-active medicine.

*Images of art, LEGO, nature & art journaling, representing my 3 month sabbatical learnings*

#6 Journaling helps me listening to both internal whispers and nagging fears … and sometimes witnessing them is enough to transform them into next step action

I have a multiverse mind and it can get pretty busy up there, alongside all the sensory/emotional processing of my AuDHD system!

So, journaling is a way for me to get the thoughts out of my head and onto the page, for processing. With limited working memory and executive functioning challenges, working things out in my head feels like a whole alphabet soup has been poured into my head, and I have to work extra hard to make sense of each slippery letter, let alone piece together larger concepts.

So, I externalise - I journal, draw or write things down so I can better see/understand what I’m working with.

It also helps let go of looping thoughts - because if I write the same thing as yesterday, I can be like …. “Oh here’s a pattern” … or “Hey, I sorted this problem out yesterday” … or … “I may need some professional help with this issue. I can’t work it out myself.”

I use journaling like an external hard-drive - to hold and process my thoughts.

#7 Nature connection helps me regulate … every … single … time

Time and time again, I’m reminded. When I’m in nature, I feel more regulated. Whether it’s walking barefoot on the soccer oval, taking a bush walk, or sitting by the beach or creek under a tree, nature holds me in her arms and reminds me of a slower rhythm, and all the beauty right before my eyes.

It’s enough to reset my system and feel connected inside-outside, lowering my stress levels and helping me reframe.

#8 Soul-deep growth requires agency and solitude. It’s imperative to create space for it

I don’t just believe I/we have a Soul …. I can FEEL it. My Soul-body connection is very palpable and as I age, it’s getting more easy to connect with my Soul wisdom. What I heave learned, is it’s not only about what it’s saying; it’s that I need environmental / mental conditions so I can hear it. For me, this means alone time, where I can slow down, connect in my own way (often through creative practices and/or in nature) and feel the wisdom speak itself through me.

My Soul (and yours!) is so full of wisdom and is always committed to what we need for our personal growth. This isn’t always the easy option, but it’s always the most honouring of our life force, body and capacities.

I’ve been fascinated with Soul for as long as I can remember and I’m excited to bring more soulful connection and practices into my future offerings (coming soon, stay tuned!)

#9 Boundaries and limits are rarely easy to put in place for the first time, but it gets a little less scary with practice

I have a confession to make - I didn’t know what a ‘Boundary’ was until my late 30’s, and with common neurodivergent challenges like picking up social cues/expectations, boundaries have been something I’ve had to work HARD to understand and develop.

For me, whenever I need to tell someone something I need that may rock the boat, I experience intense anxiety and emotional flooding, and it can take me a long time to get the words out, if at all.

I also often need help to identify my boundaries, through professional supports - as I mentioned above with #6, swirling thoughts can get too slippery for me to process in my brain, alone. My multiverse mind can get tangled with overwhelming feelings and social expectations. When this happens, I turn to neuro-affirming psychology, art therapy, occupational therapy and my arts-based research inquiries, to help me identify and process boundaries.

I’ve been documenting my research and findings, so one day I’d love to publish my findings on boundaries for neurodivergent people.

So to sum up, this time has been truly needed, nourishing and revolutionary for me. So many of us push through when we need to stop, and we all have our valid reasons for doing that.

Yet, if you’ve been feeling at chronic burnout for extended periods of time, it’s important to take a moment and ask … am I missing out on an important need here? Can I access some support and/or time off to help me reset?

Listen to your tummy … and what your physical health is letting you know. Our bodies are full of wisdom, and we need them literally every day of our lives. It makes sense to take extra moments to care for the vessel that enables us to experience, process and create our lives. Even a small life tweak may help.

Big Love,

Chrissy x