If I'm Being Honest ...
There's been some thoughts on my mind lately and I need to express them ... I've been feeling pretty disheartened lately about my Art. On the one hand, I feel like my Art is the richest and most authentic it's ever been. On the other hand, I'm feeling frustrated and impatient that my work isn't selling as much as I want it to right now.
Wonderland.
It's such an unsettling thing. You can never gauge as an Artist when your next pay check will come in, which is what forces so many of us to have a day-job to bring home the bacon. Some would say that making Art is just a hobby, but that's easy to say for people who aren't Artists themselves!
Making Art for me is not just a 'hobby' I like doing. It's a necessity for my Soul to thrive.
When I don't make Art, I experience a build up of emotion like a pressure cooker ... and putting paint to paper lets the steam right out. I don't even have to think, I just drip and smear and cut and paste and magic begins to happen inside me.
New Work in Progress.
Sometimes, I'll complete an Artwork that sings straight from my Soul and I think, "My God ... this one feels like a gift." So when something feels so heartfelt and pure, it's so hard not to feel disheartened when the piece doesn't sell.
Honestly, I begin to wonder sometimes ... "What's the point?" Why do I pour so much of my energy into this seemingly superfluous endeavour? Doesn't anyone need my gift? Is it even appreciated in the world? Is it even making a difference to anyone, anywhere? Why do I even bother?
After a while of muddling through this swamp of woe, I inevitably come to a signpost ... One that I recognise from many times before.
I feel wonderful in the process of making Art.
That's it.
Even if selling Art was never invented, I'd still do it.
When I wonder why I've been given this great desire to create, I remind myself how it makes me feel alive and free. I remember how I can say how I really feel, without censorship. I feel blessed that I can mish-mash any Art materials together and let them tell my story.
I can create Life where it never existed before.
When I find myself looking outside for verification, these are the things I come back to. It's helped me realise in recent years, this:
I don't make Art for you. I make Art for Me.
Because in my books, the biggest gift we can ever truly give others, is the gift of Living our very best ourselves. When I can make Art for me, I am giving my very best self in this moment. I think all in all, it's more than worth it.
All my Love,
Chrissy x
