Gracious Instinct

One of the things about being human, is that we're always growing, evolving and changing. What works beautifully for us at one time in our lives, may no longer be of service as time goes on.

This happens often in my Art. A painting that seemed genius when I first created it, can appear shallow and unfinished a year or two later. It hasn't changes, but I have.

"It's not you, it's me" ...

So this week felt time for an upgrade. A lot has happened in my Life since creating the original piece, including a nervous breakdown, recovery, new job, study and a deep reworking of my values. I wanted to create something that reflected my new way of being.

As usual, I wasn't sure where this painting was headed, but the intuitive process means I didn't have to. I just began matching images from my magazine stash with how I felt and collaged them onto the canvas with gel medium. I found images of pink sunset skies, a family or giraffes, a stack of bamboo and some mountains, which drew me in. So, I started with those.

As I created, I added paint too; colours that matched the feelings and textures and colours of the magazine images I'd added. I love to blend paint around features with soft, whispery lines, because it makes the painting feel more ethereal to me. I think that matches the flowing nature of feelings, too.

After an hour or so, the feel of the painting had changed pretty drastically.

The next day, itching to get back in to paint again, I set up my little guy in the studio with me. As he painted little pictures for me and played with playdough, I added some new pastel colours to the sky and foreground, as well as some butterflies and a sensational image of a cheetah. With my son by my side, helping me to glue on the collage pieces, the direction of the painting began to get clearer.

I realised that the tower of giraffes represented my family unit and how important they are in my Life. The cheetah is me, heading into a savannah where opposites can co-exist together, in harmony. As someone who has battled with anxiety most of my Life, I can often obsess about the small stuff ... but I've reached a point in my Life where I'm ready to settle into my skin. This is who I am and I'm ready to balance my instincts for survival with a greater need for the gracious aspects of myself to emerge more fully.

I'll be taking a break for a few days with a busy schedule over the next week, but this feels like a good place to rest the painting, for now. I'll add more to her when I can.

In the meantime, I've created a short time-lapse video of this intuitive collage unfolding, so far.

All my Love,

Chrissy