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How AuDHD Burnout Feels

Hi Beauty,

In this post, I’m going to share a bit about my experience with neurodivergent burnout, as a late-diagnosed AuDHD’er (ADHD & Autism). Here’s what I know: Neurodivergent burnout happens differently for each person, so the following is just my experience. Maybe you relate to some of these, too?

Getting diagnosed + Needs Awareness + Education = Burnout awareness & Mitigation

I used to burn out often and more intensely, because I was undiagnosed and unknowingly masking to be perceived how society/others thought I should be. For me, this meant say yes to, and doing waaaay more than my nervous system could process. And I would push through, without listening, only to crumble in a heap and be no good for myself or anyone else.

But since my diagnosis, I have worked out my life within a routine that feels within my window of tolerance. My work hours have changed - I now work part-time, 3 days a week. I spend each morning nourishing myself - with a good breakfast, perhaps a walk or a little gardening. Filling my cup first, instead of giving my most alert and able time away,

But I still experience burnout. Regularly. I’m still as sensitive as I was before. But now, I have tools and awareness to help me cope and recover more readily.

Recovery from Masking

For me, I often experience an ongoing feeling of dipping in and out of burnout, simply because my nervous and emotional systems are so sensitive and nuanced

… and I’m still repairing from a lifelong overwhelm state.

Most of my life before revolved around meeting other’s needs and expectations of me. This is called masking - hiding my own needs, to please others, across all areas of life - from work, to relationships, to hobbies. No wonder I dove into art so much - it was one place I felt more me. But I still held back all of my sensitivities.

Post-Diagnosis Burnout triggers

Now that I know my needs a bit better, my burnout triggers are often more externalised - eg. Shifts in my output with parenting and my aging parents, relational challenges, worldly issues etc.

Poor sleep

Sleep is a big one for me. If I have several consecutive nights of insomnia, my brain executive functioning capacity and tolerance levels diminish hugely! I work with a nutritionist to help me with ADHD supplements - especially Vitamin B’s, Zinc + Vitamin C, Magnesium before bed. These help, but insomnia is also just a part of my life now. I just have to ride it out.

Ongoing, comorbid health conditions

Neurodivergence is liked with many comorbid, chronic health conditions. For me, these include monthly cycle challenges (PMDD Premenstrual dysphoric disorder), coeliac disease and back pain. When any of these flare up, my capacity and window of tolerance diminishes greatly, and I’m more susceptible to burn out.

(this is how burnout feels to me - stretched beyond my edges, delicate, heart-on-my-sleeve, surrounded by spikes.)

What burnout feels like for me:

🩵 Insomnia

🩶 A feeling of dread for upcoming tasks - even ones I enjoy

🩵 Absolute, bone-tiredness that can’t be quickly recovered with sleep or rest

🩶 Irritability

🩵 Diminished capacity for everyday routine tasks, like brushing my teeth and stacking the dishwasher

🩶 No mojo … like for anything

🩵 Above all, my nervous system feels both amped up and burnt out

But … I’m getting better at recognising my neurodivergent burnout earlier and also, making changes in my life to better suit my natural capacity and strengths.

To conclude - I speak honestly when I say - I wouldn’t change my system for the world.

I have learned a miriad of tools that assist me in my thriving, which both bolsters and helps mitigate overwhelm, when I incorporate them into my daily living (i.e. moving my body, in nature.)

I love who I’ve discovered I am and I genuinely love nurturing myself and my life-force … and helping others so the same through my arts therapy work and study.

It’s just a lifelong juggling act I’m learning to accept.